Should Muslim Students Consider Marriage before Graduation: PART II

I come from a faraway place. I come bearing memories. I come bearing pain.

I was told once that one often ends up at their destination on the path they take to avoid it. But alas, you want, she wants and God fulfils what He wants.

I come to you from a land faraway. I come bearing hope. I come bearing dreams.

I was a student working on my Master’s degree a few years ago. I was involved in the MSA and there I met someone I thought was going to be my wife for the rest of my life. I was a shy dude, an introvert for the most part, but ultimately, I wasn’t ready.

Still, I gave it my best shot. In fact, I was overzealous to the point where I ended up causing more harm than good. I was overzealous to the point where when this girl of my dreams did end up getting engaged, I wanted to politely confront this lucky guy and ask him to back off and give me a second chance.

Did I tell you I was new to love?

I blamed my failure to get the girl of my dreams on racism. I blamed it on feminism. I blamed it on my financial condition. I blamed it on my upbringing.

And then, when I gained composure, I blamed it on myself. And grew up, and said I had to do something about this.

I had to figure out who I was, because no one was going to do it for me. Why was I so insecure around the opposite gender? Why was I so jealous of their confidence, their strength? More importantly, why was I so weak, compared to them? Do I have to be feminine like them to be strong? Is there a masculine way of being strong? What does it mean to be a man?

How I wish the road was easier, how I wish things were more certain. I left my hometown and made it to Vancouver where for the first time, I had to learn to navigate the world independently.

I ended up working at Starbucks for some time. A place I had despised for so long. Yet, it was at Starbucks where I learned to get out of my comfort zone and talk! Communicate! Tell people how I felt, and what I wanted.

Soon after, I started at the University of British Columbia, but not long after, I started to get restless and feel lonely. I felt purposeless. I felt caged. I felt angry. I felt silenced. No inner harmony. What was I doing here?

But I knew one thing; I couldn’t keep it to myself. I had to speak up.

Enter The Svbaltern Magazine.

Folks, God has his way of really showing you His signs.

Two months after the launch of The Svbaltern Magazine, I realize why this initiative started in the first place. It started because I had problems trying to get married, and I desperately wanted to reach out to the community for help.

I left twin brothers (fraternal) at home whom I wish were around, but God gave me Usama Abassi and Rehmatullah Sheikh. I needed light to guide me through uncertain times and He gave me Nour Youssef. I needed His mercy when I was so hesitant to start and He gave me Rahma Naveed. And when I left the comfort and support of my mother (Khadiga is her name) He gave me Ayse Kabaca.

One often reaches their destination on the path they take to avoid it.

So ask yourselves, what are you avoiding?